- sweethell: pq diabos eu acordei, naturalmente, às 7 da manhã? 20/11/2008
- sweethell: muito curioso acordar cedo e ver o povo chegando no msn, google talk e twitter do trabalho. 17/11/2008
- sweethell: caralho, acabei! tomara que todo esse sacrifício valha a pena, pq tá foda... 14/11/2008
- sweethell: @venetiglio a LOUD! ainda existe? que resistência! 14/11/2008
- sweethell: @ivanneto @racheljuraski depois do expediente, rola um "mente vazia, oficina do diabo" feeeeio. 14/11/2008
arquivo de March, 2001
blind date - so, are
autor: sweethell
blind date
- so, are you going tonight?
probably not. i am so very tired and, besides, i’ll be there friday anyway. i’d only go if i could come back early, but you messed my plans up, i am on my pijamas already. but hm… if you decide to do anything really, call me again, will you?
- ok, let’s cut it, i gotta go now. we’re outta here.
[waking from my sleeping dreams to what some would call 'the real benefit of doubt': i know what's gonna happen but i hide myself in the truth i made for myself to believe, the phone will ring. i breathe again, and the air feels thicker than a moment before.
the house is empty and the paths to walk are clear. i open the fridge to put my mood in and all i can get are the rests of another people's party: no salvation this time for me. get some soda to quench my physical thirst and some ice to calm my anxiety down. it's no good: i am already taken by the confusion of a million questions that call for the same name.
my bed awaits me while i keep walking the ground of my own mute feelings.]
- so you came, ha? weren’t you off to sleep?
so you didn’t call, ha? didn’t you tell me you would?
- we just came in. i thought it would be no use calling because you were oh, so tired.
but i came.
[the silly games we play even when we don't: you won't say anything if i don't. my bloody mary gets spicier with the the succession of songs, careless of the situation just like you. we speak no word: you words are someone else's. hopeless: not only your words, the words i longed to hear, but probably everything else is someone elses's also.
i can dance and think a while of the whole spectrum of possibilities that could be up for me if i only tried, but i am no fool anymore: i quit beforehand and leave, keeping with me all the promises we wouldn't make all the sensations we didn't take all the limits we'll never break
ler comentários (0)i could even come back.
autor: sweethell
the clouds. suddenly the sky,
autor: sweethell
the clouds.
suddenly the sky, all light blue and depressingly shining for days and days and days, is as dark as it can be. the clouds have cumulated in a mass of strange tones of gray, white and ‘i think i saw some yellow right in that spot over there, can you see it too?’. it moves like a newborn: slowly and irregularly, but with the sureness that something will be reached.
the ground.
it rains. the thick drops covering the view through the glass that protects me from the water falling strong and easy from up where i can’t see. while the wind turns colder and colder, the streets get flooded and dirty, and the people in cars are flooded to, only it’s not water but rather doubts in a “should-i-stay-or-should-i-go?” style. mostly they go. but they can feel there is something more.
the ice stones.
intensely, they paint the ground white. no grass, no asphalt, no roofs: everything’s just ice and drops of rain in profusion, tickling with the falling. it’s a new spectacle, unseen, and it looks like it will be as ephemeral as the colors.
the rainbow.
i didn’t see the rainbow because i was much too far, but i know it was there. with colors beneath the clouds that are already white again.